Monday, October 02, 2006

Dear Amazon

Dear Amazon,

Do you understand what the word "shipped" actually means?  See, I don't think you do.  Apparently, when you say "shipped", you actually meant "I told the mail carrier to pick up a package".  That doesn't not mean shipped.  Shipped is the past tense of ship, and to ship means the package has moved away from the warehouse.  Shipped means the fracking package has made its fracking way out the door and is on it's merry way to my doorstep.  By definition, a package cannot have shipped and at the same time still be sitting on a dock somewhere waiting for the mail truck.  It's one or the other.

At the same time, don't tell me a package has shipped 30 seconds after I ordered if if I ordered it at 9:00PM on a Saturday night.  Then I know you're lying immediately.  At least allow me to enjoy the illusion that my package has actually shipped.

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